Just A Thought

Whatever happened to the question, "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee some time?" I feel like it died years ago and that the only decent thing to ask a girl out these days are through these series of questions:

'X' marks the spot. This is the right way to go. Photo 2013 @ Xocolat, Katipunan

1. "Do you want to hang and party?"
2. "Where are you? I can pick you anywhere" (at 2am that is)
Or the classic one that I'm hearing...
3. "Want to drink? When can we see each other for that beer session?"

What I believe when someone asks me the coffee question..

Coffee is decent.
Coffee makes sense.
Coffee keeps you alive and active.
Coffee makes you hyper and talk a lot.
Coffee makes you think of crazy things.
Coffee makes you leap out of your chair and be merry.

In short...Coffee is always good, especially when you're drinking it with someone and you're having probably the best conversation you've had in your life so far.

That also said, I believe that the coffee culture that the Friends' Series (90s) aired long ago have died with them. People no longer spend 10 minutes talking and just sharing what's going on with their lives. When we do see each other we usually talk for awhile and go back to our smart phones and scroll away!

It feels like the world is more updated online and we've lost that face-to-face connection with human souls.

In the world of dating, I feel like coffee is taboo already. And the lines I've said awhile ago will transform into this:

Beer is decent.
Beer makes sense.
Beer keeps you alive and active.
Beer makes you hyper and talk a lot.
Beer makes you think of crazy things.
Beer makes you leap out of your chair and be merry.

Apparently boys, men, and gentlemen think nowadays that the best way to get a girl is to ask her over for some drinks. It works both ways I guess. For some time. But it gets tiring too you know. Plus it's an expensive lifestyle that's very hard to maintain and to balance.

See when you ask us out over beer there are always lingering questions in our heads like: (well I don't know if it's the same with you ladies, but this is what's happening in mine)

1. Should I go?
2. Is this is a stupid idea?
3. It might be fun...? hmmm.
4. What's in it for me? What's in it for him?
5. Will this all be worth it in the end?

Unlike when you ask us for coffee, questions will form this way:

1. What should I wear?
2. Should I wear make-up or be nice and pretty?
3. What will we talk about?
4. Hmmm. What shall I order?
5. I think this is going to be fun. Will it? Yes definitely?

It's more exciting, worth preparing for, and it's definitely unpredictable.

Whatever happened to being unpredictable? Whatever happened to open-ended stories? To much awaited 2nd coffee dates? To more extraordinary conversations? To the getting-to-know-each-other phase? To taking it slow and easy? Where have they gone and what dimensions have they ran into?

Is romance dead? And that the fast-track scrolling we do on our social media is also how we should get to know new people in our lives?

I think, we've lost our touch. It's sad to also know that the communication we can only make is through tipsy stances and intoxicated decisions. We are but walking souls desperate for attention, desperately wanting to be heard, and desperately wanting to be felt and loved.

I admire those people who take the first 2 baby steps of saying hi and offering a hand to shake to be introduced or maybe asking a real question of "how are you?"

But mostly...

I admire those people who still have the guts to ask the coffee question. Their barriers are totally down and they are open to being shut down by the person on the other end. That life is too fleeting not to ask for a decent conversation with this smart girl or sensible man.

I admire those people who ask the coffee question because it's a question that makes us all vulnerable---to love, to pain, or to more chances. That once in awhile being vulnerable without the influence of alcohol is a magical feeling that we must desire all over again.

And on romance being dead?

I believe that it isn't. It's us and our pretenses who are killing it slowly but surely.