Just A Thought

To you,

Many times i asked myself why and what happened along the way but the answers were not enough to suffice the questions in my head. I thought of you, I thought of going to you many times to say all the anger and bitterness I still feel inside my heart.

I am not writing because I want the world to know how bad you are but rather how beautiful you were to me despite all the flaws and the tantamount of fights we've had. You were wonderful. We were wonderful. But it will just remain as a was and a were now only to be dug when memory permits me.

Thank you.

Thank you for hurting me so badly that I realized all to myself that I am not worthy of such madness.
Thank you for sending my self-esteem down the drain because with this lesson, I now know that I am truly beautiful inside and out.
Thank you for the breaking of trust because I realized what it truly means to be loyal, to be true to someone, to dedicate  my whole being, and to love more.

Thank you for the fights because I learned that anger can always bring you to bad places and I no longer want that for the rest of my positive existence.
Thank you for the good memories, I can now have new ones without you in the picture.
Thank you for the freeze frames of smiles and warm hugs and kisses; I can now see this possibly happening again with somebody.

Thank you for breaking my heart. It's ok, I learned a lot. I now know what I want for a partner and what I truly desire from the next person that would come along.
Thank you for the expectations that led to disappointments. I now know how to treat people better and give them more than I can offer.
Thank you for the tears. With each drop my heart feels better knowing that you had the courage to choose to get out of our poisonous relationship.

Thank you again for more tears, with them I am learning how to crumble and my walls are starting to fall into pieces. and that being into many pieces is not such a bad thing.
Thank you for the acceptance, for every bit of hospitality that I felt with your family.
Thank you for instilling in me the value of marriage all over again and for giving me the thought of its possibility.

With everything said, thank you still, for making me believe in love again, for making me believe in a person, for making me understand my true capacity on how I can extend myself to one person.

I might end up with someone and get hurt all over again, but I still thank you for giving me so much pain that the possibility of this happening again is no longer a possibility,

Thank you. Thank you for everything. You were beautiful. We were beautiful. And with this, I close the chapters of our book. Just now. To let you go. To let myself go.

We were not perfect but I hope you also felt the same that the imperfections of it all was perfect enough. But enough was never a part of my intentions during the first time around, I hope that you will also understand that, maybe years from now.

It is true that when the heart has been touched it will always remain open for new possibilities. Even though pain is just waiting around the corner I am still willing to cross that blind path. Thank you for this.

Thank you for all the realizations. I hope that the good memories I have given (even the bad ones) and the lessons I've imparted remain with you. I don't want to be just a speck that flew by and never touched your soul.

I hope everything is good with you now, and if not everything will fall into place the soonest time possible.

With so much love,
Goodbye